Therapists Sometimes Give Bad Advice When It Comes To Divorce

If you and your spouse are contemplating divorce, you may have already tried counseling or therapy. In some cases, individuals see a therapist to gain clarity on their own thoughts and feelings. Other times, couples will see a therapist or counselor together; usually in an attempt to reconcile and to make the marriage work.

But if the relationship cannot be reconciled and the couple needs to get a divorce, does a good therapist encourage the divorce or try to stop it? This issue was recently discussed in a Huffington Post article written by Susan Pease Gadoua, who is a licensed therapist. In her article, she argues that too many therapists try to prevent divorce because they see it as a sign of failure. In attempting to save a marriage that should end in divorce, she says, therapists ultimately do a disservice to their patients.

Conversely, Gadoua’s essay should also serve as a warning to anyone seeking marriage or relationship therapy. If you and/or your spouse are in this situation, it might be a good idea to ask your therapist about his or her opinions on divorce. If they say something like “it should be avoided at all costs,” the advice they give might not be in your best interests.

To be sure, the vast majority of therapists are well-meaning and want to do right by their patients. But all human beings have biases that color our interactions with others, including therapists. Some therapists may be patently against divorce. Others might take it as a sign of professional failure if their patients end up pursuing a divorce.

In either case, only you and your spouse can decide if divorce is the right path to take. As such, you need a therapist willing to support that decision if it becomes necessary.

Source: Huffington Post, “An Open Letter To Divorce Therapists,” Susan Pease Gadoua, Nov. 4, 2013