Viewing divorce through a New Jersey judge’s eyes

Couples who are preparing to divorce have a wide range of choices ahead of them. Before they begin to contemplate how to divide their assets or handle child custody issues, they must first decide how to proceed with the divorce itself. While some couples seek a collaborative divorce from the very outset, others are uncertain that they will be able to avoid going before a judge.

When weighing the various options, it is important to understand the role that a judge plays within a New Jersey divorce. Family court judges hear divorce cases each and every day, and a crowded court schedule leaves them very little time to weigh the merits of each case that comes before them. At the end of the day, even the best judge is left having to make decisions for a couple whom he or she knows little to nothing about.

The results can be hard for both parties to accept, and often resemble a cookie-cutter approach to divorce that does not meet the needs of the spouses involved. Often, individuals emerge from divorce court with the sinking realization that they could have worked out a settlement on their own that met their needs better and at a far lesser cost than the outcome reached in court. This is an area of life in which hindsight is not only clear, but is particularly painful.

While there are always going to be certain New Jersey couples who are inevitably going to end up in divorce court, most families can reach a far better solution on their own. When spouses are able to work together to structure their own unique divorce settlement, the outcome is one that is acceptable to all involved. It may not be a perfect ending to an untenable marriage, but a settlement is usually far less expensive and stressful than a court-ordered divorce.

Source: The Huffington Post, The Divorce Process: Let me Introduce You to the Judge, Jackie Pilossoph, Jan. 8, 2014