Significance of the Right of First Refusal in Your NJ Custody Case

I Don’t Want my Children Left with a Babysitter During my Ex’s Parenting Time in NJ, What Can I Do?

Divorce is a long, arduous process, and when it comes to child custody decisions, even the most amicable separations can go pear-shaped in a heartbeat.  Parents must relinquish some control over parenting decisions and are left with less of a voice than during the marriage while their child is spending time with their ex.  This can be excruciatingly challenging.  Fortunately, the New Jersey family court judges lean on the side of shared custody whenever possible as long as it provides the ultimate benefits to the child’s wellbeing. It is very important to understand your rights and options with regard to childcare and co-parenting in New Jersey, as reaching certain agreements about babysitters and the right of first refusal can offer many parents the viable alternatives they need to avoid conflict.

Do Co-Parents Need Permission for Using a Babysitter in New Jersey?

Barring court-mandated restrictions, parents usually have the right to make childcare decisions when the children are with them, including hiring a babysitter.  As long as the situation does not affect the child to the point where a babysitter is no longer in their best interests, the court usually does not interfere.  If a parent can prove a change in circumstances that results in the need for a lot of time with a babysitter, a custody modification may be made, but the circumstances must be such that they affect the child negatively.  A babysitter who does not interact with the child is too old and not mobile enough to supervise them adequately, or someone who is abusive can be reasons to request a modification of parenting time to reduce the amount of time the child is with a sitter.

Warning Signs: When Your Ex’s Childcare Choices Put Your Child at Risk

These circumstances can include someone who has a history of alcohol or substance abuse, domestic violence issues, or child abuse.  Someone who doesn’t get along with the child or the child becomes emotional and upset when they realize who will be babysitting them is a red flag. There is a difference between a child having a tantrum because a parent won’t be at home and one who is visibly anxious and distraught.  Also, babysitters who don’t follow a parent’s instructions, such as the child’s bedtime, limited screen time, snacks, or someone who has guests while babysitting, are all concerns that both parents should address. Babysitters who don’t interact with their child, play with them, or watch movies or a show together can potentially create an environment for the child to feel abandoned or neglected.  A babysitter’s disinterest in supervising a child could result in a dangerous situation, such as drowning in a pool or bathtub, suffering severe burns in the kitchen, drinking a poisonous substance, falling from a high place, or wandering away from home without the babysitter’s knowledge.  These examples may seem extreme, but a child’s safety can never be overstated.

Is a Babysitter Plan Right for Your Family? Co-Parenting Solutions for Childcare Concerns

Parents can create a babysitter plan within the parenting plan.  It could include the required qualifications for a babysitter, such as age, knowledge of CPR, experience, recommendations, etc. Another provision could be to hire only babysitters, which both parents would approve. Some families use a babysitter pool with a list of pre-approved sitters to choose from that are acceptable to both parents.

Background checks are a good idea. Today’s technological capabilities leave little to speculation regarding legal issues. As a precaution, some parents require temporary access to a potential applicant’s social media accounts.  Sasha may seem like a great candidate, and the kids love her, but her social media accounts insinuate drug use.  She went from the top of the bunch to the basement as far as choices go, just in time.

Employing the Right of First Refusal Under New Jersey Custody Law

Parents can include a right of first refusal in their agreement. This gives the parent the right to care for their child before the babysitter is hired. The parent needing a babysitter must call the other parent first to provide them with the option to care for the child.  This right of first refusal is used in three general situations. The first is when the parent is gone for several hours.  The other parent steps in instead of using a babysitter. Another situation is regarding overnights.  If the parent will be gone for more than 12 hours, spanning the nighttime hours, the other parent may step in.  Lastly, when there is an emergency, the child needs care for an undetermined amount of time, such as a health issue or family emergency.

There are many ways parents can find solutions that fit their needs while protecting their children.  It may seem counterintuitive to compromise with your ex, but your decisions are exclusively for their benefit when they focus on your child.  By creating a plan that specifically lays out the steps and stipulations for the right of first refusal and childcare in general, there is little room for confusion.  Communicating clearly and crafting a plan that details how and when the right to first refusal can be used, how to choose a babysitter and the specific rules and procedures therein.

Let an Experienced Family Law Attorney Help Resolve You Resolve Childcare Disagreements in Paramus and throughout Northern New Jersey

Our seasoned attorneys at Montanari Law Group can review your parenting plan and suggest modifications based on your present situation. We can offer suggestions while advising you on your parental rights. Our lawyers have extensive experience handling custody cases and parental concerns, and we can negotiate with your ex or attorney to devise a plan that suits everyone’s needs. If appropriate, we can help you decide which parts of your parenting plan should be changed to serve the child in the best way possible. In the unfortunate event of a stalemate, our custody and family lawyers can zealously represent you in court. Our clients and their children’s well-being are our primordial concern. Our experience affords us the knowledge to protect your parental rights, thereby protecting those of your child. Serving families in Verona, Fort Lee, Wyckoff, Montclair, Caldwell, Woodland Park, Paramus, and throughout Passaic County and Northern New Jersey, we are committed to helping parents and families like yours. If you have questions regarding how to address babysitting, childcare, and the right of first refusal in your child custody or your parenting time agreement, call us today at (973) 233-4396  or contact us online today for a complimentary consultation.